Going The Extra MILE...........

Piggy attended the Achievers Award Ceremony just recently. As usual in such functions there will be speeches by the management. Our COO no less, gave a short powerful speech on how are we going to “go the extra mile” for our customers. That got piggy thinking of some stuff that have puzzled piggy brain… but NO MORE, with COO’s new regime and motto “ go the extra mile’. A lot of things suddenly make sense…..
Colder than meat freezerPiggy’s factory air conditioning has gone the extra mile. YES, no doubt the management have taken “go the extra mile’ seriously. Piggy secretly suspect the air con temperatures dial must be in the negative. Piggy’s paw will froze within 3 hours of maneuvering the mouse. Suddenly typing sms-es no longer a few second chore. In order to meet target, piggy have to go toilet 3 times a day to defrost the frozen paws using the hand dryer. (no, sorry cant use the microwave….piggy want to defrost it, not cook the paw)

Walk the extra mile
Yeah, they have literally shift the office building to the outskirts of Sungai Wang and still claims it is easily accessible. (Note : old office is just next to hard rock café and 5 minutes walk from all public transport and food outlet). The only public transport that will soon pass by piggy’s new office is the ambulance….if you can loosely call it public transport. Nowadays a fast walker takes at least 20 mins to walk to office, and you can get food after walking for 15 mins. Well they do have a big cafeteria with a pathetic stall and the queue go miles and miles. If you haven’t figure that out, its management’s way of telling you to practice ‘ the extra mile’ ideology.


Going miles and miles
Management employed a security guard that literally has to walk miles and miles a day. YES, he weights bout 200lbs and probably 5’ 8”. All he does is just round the office. He cruises along the walkway like a parade car 24-7. YES make that a big parade car, for if he comes along the walkway, you either duck into the nearest cubicle to let him pass by or get squash and flatten. What a great job he has, he must be thanking GOD everyday for this heavenly job. Piggy has been cracking brain to explain his presence. We are only doing insurance for GOD’s sake, and everything is paperless. What is there to steal? Bomb threat? The last time piggy checked, we have not declined any terrorist/ guerilla members’ policies. BUT….after the ceremony, piggy know at last. The security guard is actually THE MASCOT. How clever of our management to have a life mascot circling our modest office reminding us to ‘ go the extra mile’


Missing miles of toilet paper
This must be the women office syndrome. In old office no toilet paper, in new office also no toilet paper. The only good improvement is the store room is located just next to the toilets. Therefore, employees have to ‘go the extra mile’ to get the toilet paper from the store and put in the toilet. Did piggy tell there are also more sinks now but there is only a soap dispenser? In old building 4 sinks and 2 soap dispenser. New building has 6 sinks and 1 dispenser. HM…… who fail his maths?


Pantry miles away
In old office, pantry is within office compound. Still employees grumble that it is far. For those who had once grumbled, check out the location of the pantry in the new office. Its next to the toilet, which employees have to walk like 5 mins, and open at least 2 doors. The 3rd door (which is the pantry room door itself) opens around 8.00am. If you come around 7.30am and wishes to start your day with a mug of hot coffee, but u realize u forgot to clean your mug yesterday… you can start banging your head on the wall to kill the morning hangover or wait till 8.00am for the last door to open. For the grumblers, please remember now you are suppose to ‘go the extra mile’ to clean your stuff.

What blood type are you

Last week, was talking with cousin bout donating blood and blood types in our impressive and massive family members. Triggered some fond memories of the very 1st time i got my blood tested. Happen way back in 1994 piggy think. Getting blood card is like getting license card or something, it was sooo awesome. Piggy was admiring it from all angles when piggy cousin brother and the twins dropped by for a visit.

Piggy brother ( PB) : Yo what's that?

Piggy : Oh this is blood card ler. **show**flash**flash**, this one must keep in wallet..if accident they straight can give u blood ma, no need test again.

PB : OH......so geng one ah

Twin1: go go what's the O mean

Piggy: Ar that one means i am Type O

PB : I am type A ler

Twin1 : I am type B.

Twin 2: I am type C.

Piggy : ROFL**

My 1st ever car break down

Time : 4.00pm
Date : 20/3/2005
Place : Simpang Pulai tol

Piggy had started driving since Jan 2005. When piggy's sister hand over the car, she has warn that you will have car breakdown at least once no matter how well you maintain it...This got piggy worried but......looking at car condition, it doesnt look like it's going to breakdown anytime soon...so piggy is pretty safe... BUT disaster always strike when you least expect....

Piggy was driving happily back to KL when piggy start hearing funny noises on the left side of the car...temperature start to rise... OH NO OH NO NOOOOOOOooooo .... not on the highway....
Almost heart attack. After stopping the car, smoke billowed out front the bonnet...and passerby look at you funny funny. Ok now piggy know how it feels to be on the other side of the fence....

Still in Ipoh is a good thing... call father Piggy for help...

Piggy : **du du du du**, arloo 'lo ma che' ah, 'lo dou' ler?
Mother Piggy: Ar...he go dry swimming* ler.....wat's up
Piggy : Cham la, stupid car on fire.....
Mother Piggy : WTF?
Piggy: Overheat ler, now on the roadside....some more on corner oh...so bahaya ler...
Mother Piggy: Tot at home all check lio?
Piggy: Mana tau, not me check...you husband check one oh.....
Mother Piggy: Wait ler, try send asap see ur dad can get it or not...he didnt bring HP.
Piggy: ar... ok ok

Thank God, mum manage to get a friend of piggy dad who saw his car outside somewhere...dunno how many person mum called? probably hundreds...Think call tol truck is easier than calling him.... Piggy think the thing that kills you the most is the endless waiting...and waiting...until piggy feel like taking nap....um yes yes...at situation like this...piggy can still feel sleepy...

Needless to say....reinforcement came only after 1 hour..end up piggy have to drive piggy's own car back to KL... don't ask why piggy is driving piggy sister's car and not her own... long story ler....AND this week have to drive back to change cars...... so tiring....

Extra service

In Renaisance Hotel, Sagano Restaurant, brunch, discussion on between Shanghai and Bangkok

Piggy Cousin (PC) : ** over the phone with brother** heyo the offer quite good ..shanghai one... bla bla bla...... **du du du ** damn !! phone flat....
Piggy : *phone rang* arloo, Oh cousin brother.... um um.... ok.....its urs.....
PC: pai seh pai seh..... *take over phone* ...bla bla bla........

After brunch at hotel lobby, (yes...they talk until piggy phone left 1 more bar. Have to stop, the 1 bar is for emergency purpose....)

PC : Aik cham cannot even on it....
Piggy : Talk too much la, how ler....u need to take bus back Ipoh wo.....
PC : Eh you think can charge at reception?
Piggy : Can one meh?
PC : try la... at least until can on the HP enough la....
Piggy : **doubtful** o............k... **follow behind**
Recep : Yes how can i help u?
PC : Eh here got nokia charger? Can I charge my phone ar?
Recep : **blink blink**
PC : Can ah ** show hp**
Recep : **blink blink **............er can kua....
PC : Only 15 mins enough la....thanks...

Suprisingly YES, PC's HP is charge for 15 mins and can be switched on and even send sms... miracle.... ** fast forward** = = = At Matta Fair..over a booth "Excellance Holiday"

Sales : **bla bla** this Bangkok trip veli cheap lio **bla bla bla**
Piggy : Think we can go la, to this one... how?
PC : **think think think......** eh...your place here got charger?
Sales : **Blink blink **
PC : No? Nokia charger? Desparately need to charge my phone.... can help charge?
Sales : **blink blink**
Pc : For awhile only......
Sales : ** Jaw drop**..... er can one kua...wait i look.... **took HP and go**
Piggy : walau eh.... here also u wan find charger?
PC : 15 min u think can last how long wo... since we are keen on this package, might as well charge my HP as we negotiate...
Piggy : Geng.....

** suprisingly PC manage to charge her phone until there is a bar through her ingenious way....
It proves, when there is a will there is a way

Only know how to go to work

Over the phone..while driving frantically. The time is 7.30pm...appointment is 8.30pm

Piggy : Wei...now how ler.... late lio, if go fetch u sure lagi late

Panda : You really dunno how to go Istana Budaya?

Piggy : ....no......

Panda : Then hor.... i drive out and meet u in KL then bring you to there lo....hm where to meet

Piggy : Er...no idea, quick suggest.......

Panda : Know how to go KLCC?

Piggy : Oh i know.... but i only know how to go via Jalan Sultan Ismail

Panda : Cannot la, jam....um..then u know how to go Jalan Ampang?

Piggy : Um.... er....dunno

Panda : Then ...u know any way to go office that is not jam...

Piggy : Er....i know another way....but pass by kota raya one...

Panda : (-_-") ..... jam also.....then can u tell me where in KL you know how to go, i go meet u...

Piggy : Um...only know how to go office ( Jalan Sultan Ismail, next to hard rock cafe, super jam area or sungai wang area)

Panda : (-__- ") .... Then know how to go General Hospital?

Piggy : .....er...where is it?

Panda : IJN?

Piggy : Um...........he he .... no (-_-")

Panda : Then where the hell u know how to go?

Piggy : Um...office.....

Panda : (-_-")

*** end up piggy have to take lrt to Ampang Point to meet up with Panda.....and we were 1/2 hour late.... so soli to all parties involved.

Give and Take

Its important to give and take.......Gives balance and synergy to any thing..........Makes no matter which end you are...everything balances in the end

~~~~~BUT~~~~~~~~
All give no take does not make you a saint..........Creates emotional burden......Too much giving kills...........I feel I owe you too much, too much


~~~~~OR YOU PREFER~~~~~~~
All take but no give, is it taking advantage?......Do you feel lucky to be at the receiving end?......Do you feel happy and blessed?
~~~~REMAIN NEUTRAL~~~~~~
NO give no take, no complications.................No emotional guilt, no blackmail...............All you have is a silent existance................but to suffer all give no take.....................or to be all take no give........
i prefer excile throughout enternity....

Are they really treating you the way you want to be treated? When its something beyond control, you can only wish what goes around comes around

Toilet Tales

1. Blow your butt dry toilet
Encounter this toilet in Genting. Nowadays Genting had installed this floor dryer that blows cold air. Its purpose is to provide a clean and dry environment for patrons. However they have neglected to overlook the small gap between the door and the floor of squatting toilets. Never feel what its like to do business with super cold air blowing your butt?
Try Genting 1st world public toilet. (Its so damn cold i think my shit is gonna froze before it dropped into the toilet bowl)
2. Waterfall toilet
Gives you the feeling of doing it at Niagara Falls. Dont get me wrong, I ' ve never been to Niagara Falls nor do business there...... These toilets keep flushing and flushing by itself. If you drop you hp in, it will end up in sewage treatment center in less than 1/2 hour at rate the water is going. Doing it in this kinda toilet will get ur butt slightly wet with water sprays but if u are they washing butt type can lower ur butt some more and wash.............but dont ask me where the water come from ah..... On the bright side........its clean....

. Flush when u move toilet
This toilet can only be found in KLCC. Pay RM0.50 and u can have fun. Go in the toilet and sit on it. You dont really need to do anything, just sit there then lean slightly to the right/left. Then the toilet will immediately flush. Now slightly move your thigh, you will also hear flushing sound. Reach for the toilet paper, YES you will hear flushing sound. Have enough fun? OK get out of the toilet before the next waiting person think u are crazy........ wa HAHAHAHA

X -- Less ~~

Got tis from a forward mail....which is sooo true

Our communication - Wireless
Our business - Cashless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our religion - Creedless
Our food - Fatless
Our faith - Godless
Our labour - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our Follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our commitment - Aimless
Our life - Meaningless
Our bosses - hopeless
Our Salary - Very less !!!!!!!!!!!!

SMS on New Year ( belated blog)

There are nothing like sms –es to remind you that you have friends out there who care enough to send u a new year greeting…not to mention generating income for maxis, digi and celcom…..below are some extracts ( I would love to post all but piggy’s Nokia 8250 can only fit 20 messages…therefore….)

1. The receive – angpow greeting
Gong Xi Fatt Chai… wishing you ‘pou pou koh sing’, ‘sam siong see seng’, ‘loong ma ching san’, ‘lin tau hou tou lin mei’, Happy koko kai year :P --> ex co-worker

2. The "Ham Sap’ greeting
sensored....ham sap stuff hor....blocked by firewall oledi… --> Miang Tapir
** I didn’t know tapir is like that, there is nothing between us………honestly…..**

3. The poetic greeting
God of prosperity says :- Give u a water, so that u can spend money like water, give u a happy greeting so that your life will be filled with happiness, give u a star so that everyday will be bright and cheery, give you health so that you will be healthy, An early greeting for you, wishing you happy Chinese new year --> Panda
** say some more can give email lio**

4. From Boss to Staff greetingGong Xi Gong Xi, Happy Chinese New Year, may 05 bring u good health, Good wealth, Great Opportunity n productivity, exciting n Rewarding year. Yeah!! --> Piggy Leng** motivation to work some more, never in a zillion years I imagine my leng to give me such greeting…what am I…. a workaholic? **
5. The kiam siap greeting
Lately no money…..can’t even afford a 30sen stamp.. BUT…..can still afford to send a 5 sen CNY sms. Let me be the 1st to greet you, Happy Chinese New Year --> friend in Sandakan
** hm….nowaday young pprl…..sigh~~~ **

6. The Perli greetingJust right before u have ya reunion dinner, am sending u a reminder, ‘eat in moderation!’, I just wanna make sure I can still recognize you u after CNY. ENJOY…..!! --> bay bee dino
** let all the food go waste? No way…..super chu chai also shake head HOR……. **
7. The Stab-My-heart greeting
Gong Xi Gong Xi ( a pair of cute boy and gal in Chinese costume)…….but PLS don’t look like DIS ( A big fat pig) after new year --> from about 20 pprl
** walau eh…got so teruk meh…..to those sms-ers out there…I am boycotting u guys and if u are family I will take you off my will **
8. The "English educated" greetingWhatever is lovely, whatever is precious, whatever brings JOY & HAPPINESS.. That is what I wish you and your family this Rooster Year Gong Xi Gong Xi --> class monitor
** sounds very English-fied, can almost imagine my class monitor standing in front of the class reciting the greeting **
9. The no-imagination greetingI sincerely wish you a happy and prosperous Chinese New Year towards great health and wealth for the year of the rooster. Happy Chinese New Year. --> engineer friend
** lame….very lame…… **
10. Assorted Chinese Greetings
Yeah well don’t have Chinese star to write those complicated Chinese proverbs, but basically hope that u will be happy, happy and MORE happy in the year of the chicken…..


** guys be more creative next year….. HA HA HA

Bay-Bee-Dino in GENTING - C.N.Y.

Monday (07/02/05)
*****************
1/2 day at office and things are not going smoothly - connection not good, password expired, citrix not connecting, cannot access email, etc... at last, piggy know how it felt like on sat, like shopping whole day at MV touring around the office floor round and round..hehe..
Call for SUPER CHU CHAI to rescue... HELP! HELP!

* Lunch - domino pizzas - a treat by uw's tai kah che.. famous in "SONG", kekeke
BUT many were not around..maybe that's why treat that day....haha, j/k.

Wait n wait n wait but flinstone car still not here to pick up baybeedino.
Wait till tumbuh janggut liaw..RrrRrriinnngg...RrrRrriinnggg...Ahhh..at last..
Dino happily run downstairs...(haha..take lift actually) OMG..have to cross the road?!?
Flinstone car parked opposite road...Lucky got buy PA..I guess working at PSA, need to buy PA kau kau if not "white white die" just like that...

BayBeeDino look left..look right..look left..look right again BUT still many car....
So walk further up...then get ready dino feet to speed across..3..2..1... GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Suddenly, from the back... Dino hear somebody calling... Once across the road, turn back to see.. Ohhhh!!!! It's Pearly dear and her gang going for lunch and they are risking their LIVES for the sake of lunch across the road. Haha...

Dino happily get into car and at 430pm, reach Genting, feeling a bit dizzy and nausea - lucky didnt eat much so nothing much to throw up - rested in room for awhile...
After 15 mins....alive & kicking.....go roundround c got lengchai/lenglui to c....BUT...
No LUCK after all...Bought movie tickets for the night, then back to room for a short NAP.

After dinner, movie time: 930pm - HIMALAYA Singh.. ROTFLNS = rolling on the floor non stop...crazy but funny movie..with actors like Lau Ching Wan, Francis Ng, Ronald Cheng and actress Cecilia Cheung. If you need to laugh, you can watch butvcd should be more worth it. I guess Piggy should go watch. I can imagine her rolling here and there laffing like crazy..kekeke...maybe we'll laff evenlouder hearing her laffing. :)

Papa & Mama dino went crazy and got addicted with the mermaid slot machines..dating with the mermaids till the next morning...when dino woke up to go toilet at 4am, still no sight of them...only came back to zzz after having breakfast around 8++WOW..and this is only the first night...NO EYE C oh..

Tuesday (08/02/05)
******************
Woke up in the noon time. Then, went to games arcade and hook up on the PHOTO HUNT machine for hours. Played with nephews and bring them for some rides.

Watched H20 at nite - pretty boring as it is almost similar to FANTASIA that i have watched before. Anyway, its FREE tickets so what the heck.

Reaching midnite, getting excited...awaiting the firecrackers and fireworks at the main entrance car park. A lot of people crowding the area and we found one good spot - sit down and watch.
There were 15 stretches of firecrackers wrapped in plastic bags, just in case it rains. It was great..*BANG* *POW* *BOOM* ...Then after all 15 stretches were lit into ashes..there were about 20 mins of fireworks that lit up the sky so beautifully like meteor rain. It was a great sight! Well, I guess that was the best thing when I'm in Genting.

After that, followed papa & mama dino to casino around 1am...all the way till 730.. was hooked up with the mermaids as well...reached room & take bath..slept at 830am..

* I think I kenak poison by the mermaid liaw - after bath, diarrhoea non stop till could not sleep at all - tummy ache.....


wednesday (09/02/05) - 1st day of CNY = Nian Chu Yi
********************
Papa dino decided to extend another nite..Awww...miss my ASTRO..miss my PC..CD player..etc..

Woke up at around 1030am - could not really sleep.

Then start to pack my stuff to shift to another room - from 10th floor to 23rd floor.Hmmm...seems like a better room with fridge & Ah ha...a remote control.

Afternoon, visited the games arcade again - played whole afternoon "photo hunt" until a bit gila.
Boring case. Nothing much to do. Lazy to line up for rides. Then, went back to room for a NAP till dinner time.

Dinner time - bad experience meeting a group of Indonesian uncivilised women or animals.

Indonesian#1: Anyone sitting here?
Mama Dino: Yes, got ppl one.

Then Indonesian#2 and #3 came and just sit down a chair next to mama dino.

Indonesian#2: Sit..Sit..nevermind..
Sis-In-Law: We have 7 people.
Indonesian#2: We have 16 (loudly & stare back at my sis in law)

Arrgghhh..really feel like spiking their food..

Crazy women. There's only 8 seats there and i think she dunno how to count. And never go to school before.Damn rude. Really look down on these women. Shame on them!

Papa Dino: Let's look for another place. It's CNY and let's not fight with these useless people. Don't downgrade ourself and be like them.

*Really angry la...spoil my mood & my appetite only.

After mum mum, went to casino around 930pm. This time tak larat to play till next morning liaw. Mama Dino went back to room to rest for awhile but never came back after that. Mentally tak larat.. Wallet also tak larat liaw..KEkeekke..

splish.. splash.. splish.. splash..mermaid.. Love it when you get the BONUS Splash & free 10 spins...One stupid guy, wee wee wang wang at the back of me (this gal sure lose liaw..left so little..cannot tahan,etc..) Really feel like boxing him and ask him to SHUT UP! Decided not to play anymore coz he's so irritating. Reminds me of LALATBOY. haha..

Back to room around 130am..bath..slept at 200 am.


Thursday (10/02/05) - 2nd day of CNY = Nian Chu Er
*******************

Half dreaming...*Tit* *Tit*...

Ohh..It's JellyFish sms-ing me at 9am - to remind to watch SHE concert. Only watched a bit as not so interesting after all.Then, pack..pack..pack BUT still can't go home...

Wait..Wait..Wait...for papa, mama & koko dino *POK SAT* in the casino...
Bring 2 monsters around the arcade & waste some more $$$...Try to win some teddy bears but no LUCK. Only manage to change7 big block of pencil erasers with the 132 tickets collected. How pathetic..

When it strikes 430pm - HOORAY!!! go home time....HOME SWEET HOME.

i hAte my dOg

daTe of Birth: 1995 someday
father n mother: father pincher, mother country side dog
build: can fit in a chicken pen ( there are 2 chickens in the pen)
color: shit color

the following interview was held in piggy's room.
piggy: how old is your dog oledy?

P cousin: almost 10 yr......n not dead yet..........yYYYYYYY

P: ar..so chan, y u want ur dog to die?

PC: i jus hate him, in trying to find ways to secretly kill him

P: what ways have u tot of?

PC: giving him durian, chocolate, something very HEATY, so that he has tachycardia, n subsequently heart attack.

P: can i be ur dog? ( Piggy is durian fanatic!)

PC: u want 2 die?!

P: no la, but i dun think can kill ur dog. tat's all u can think of, maybe can feed Bygon.

PC: Bygon ?! cant even kill a lizard! not to mention a dog.

P: maybe can throw him to stay with our oldest aunty. (worse than snow white's step-mother)

PC: did she ever give u any poisoned apple?!!!

P: oh, no la, i bought my apple at Carrefour.

PC: california ker?

P: no lah, the best buy.

PC: even smaller than a grape one ar !?

P: 1 mouthful maybe can use it to stuff it up ur dog's ass.maybe can kell him. overdose of apple.

PC: that moron like fruits!

P: ha! u mean? he like the apple in the butt!? tat kind of dog no need to kill oledy, sell to suratkhabar lama.

PC: Y?

P: so that the man can sell him to d circus.

PC: i dun think they need such a member in their group. cant even jump a 3" stand.

P: cant even hump the bitch in ur house!

PC: i nv tell u mer!? he is a virgin as long as he lives, too short!

P: WAHHhhaaaaa....

PC: i think tat is only one of his regret no matter how long he can lives....

P: like tat he'll die soon. no need to kill oledy. think he want to die faster so that he can reincarnate as a doberman.

PC: he stil think he got the chance, been trying for 10 yrs!

P: stupid dog! i think he better change his target to cat.

PC: out of the question.We dun allow cat in my house.

P: no wonder he still a virgin.

PC: let see it from another point of view, it is rare.

P: so, u want to sell him to the newapaper man?

PC: newpaper man kira kilo, he is at least 10KG n above, i think he rather wants my old newpapers than the dog. wat for? the paper can recycle, he cant!

P: can...as baja..

PC: u dun say, he relly go n piss in my house's most expensive recycle's chair. such a stupid dog.

P: ok, i got this great idea, stuff it in the freezer. but scare ar, ur mum har.. cook it for dinner afterwards....

PC: u cant mean tat, the meat will be harder than a rock!

P: make soup la, manna tau, the older the better.

PC: tat's it. i hav enuf of him. but stuff it in my stomach? no way! it is too much!

P: u r going to pooh it out.

PC: to me, eating 126 is only belong to Pusing ppl!

P: guess ur dog is going to lives another day like James Bond.

PC: ...................

Powerful X ray

Time : after lunch
Venue : across messenger

She-ra : jari kaki sebelah kiri putus sebahagiannya setelah xray dijalankan......murid-murid, tell me what is wrong with this sentence

Piggy : Wah so geng? What kind of X -ray? Accidently laser beam the kaki is it

She-ra : How i know? if client say this: jari kaki saya tumbuh balik selepas bomoh handsome itu membaca jampi ke atas kaki saya, then at least something la..... then note to agent should read like this: Give me the Dr's name. My left toe also broken.....

Piggy : **ROFL

Banana going WILD...

One whole day out and damn tired till sprained my foot. (ouch..maybe walk too much liaw..)

Banana wanted to go a few banks to run some errands so I tagged along. Public holiday for KL so we went to banks in Puchong. Damn many people. After bank, we went shopping for some stuff. Drop by Carrefour SP and met this lengchai trying to get people sign up for streamyx. Stopped us and we chatted for awhile, keep saying he need one last customer to end his job of the day. Haha..what a lie. Got scolded by BANANA for chatting so long with him and accused me of chatting with him coz he's LENGCHAI. Haha..but he is pretty CUTE. After shopping,we end up at SP Pasar malam in the evening.

On the way to SP Pasar malam....

Drive..drive..drive..turn right..straight (look left, look right)...turn right..straight (look high, look low)..turn left...

ME: Ah.. Haa...!! Found one parking space in front. Quickly speed forward.
Banana: Yes! Yes! At last... lucky us (kiasuly drive forward a little while waiting the car reverse out from the box)
ME: (jokingly) Haha..no worry...just honk whichever car that dares to steal your parking space. I am sure nobody dares to.

ME and my big mouth...as soon as I finish... A little kancil just drove in the box and before the driver could stop the car and get out...

Banana went WILD and crazy...

*HONK! HONK! HONK!... HOOOONNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!

ME: OH MI GOSHHHH!!! enough..enough.. (as I saw d kancil with reverse light...kancil driver a bit in shock as well...many people were staring...)
Banana: OK, finally got my place back..how dare she... (stop honking oledi but still a bit pissed off..)

ME: WOW...scary oh...why you so GANAS today? Lucky just a kancil and gal driver...IF road bully, we both "lie on the street" liaw...*PHeeWWww....

Then, we both go jalan2...thought of meeting Piggy, Jellyfish and gang but...end up not coz they "pan leng leng" till very late...hehe..

Phantom of the kitchen

Cooking with all your heart
Jellyfish, you're pretty tough
Cooking your way with art
To find your special other half
Its just a simple phrase
Which wins you an invite
But you're not at all amaze
And wish to bark and bite

To go? Or not to go?
All spinning in your head
Stuck in dilemma dough
Specially when time for bed

We're only just being kind
Not making your life so hard
And torturing your innocent mind
Til end up in blacklist card

You don't need to spend a buck
And there a chance awaiting you
Please go and try your luck
That's all we ask of you
Good heart no good step? (canton)
Please do place your bet and fate
Do take your very first step
Or you will never know what lies ahead
Turn left or turn right
There's never a right or wrong
To search for your mr.right
As it usually takes time so long
Hope you will change your mind
To go cook with your heart
And with a happy mind
To find your phantom sweet heart

* please don't get mad yea...later get old faster...

Twitch Left, Twitch Right

I know i know, i say i wont use this style anymore but i think it's suitable in this instance. Therefore.......
venue : accross jabber
Time : just after lunch

Piggy : Eh so, u belajar until what level?
Tapir : Level 2 lio.....
Piggy : Can tilik my nasib now or not
Tapir : Level 2 saja..... 56 cards...still cannot buka kedai, if not tilik salah, after pprl go suicide
:
**this conversation is censored**
:
Piggy : Eh my left eye twitching la....
Tapir : Oh good one....
Piggy : is it? I though not enough sleep...
Tapir : Nonsense .... you observe, should be good one
Piggy : Is it? then I go buy 3D
Tapir : 3D? not 4D meh....
Piggy : Ar....hah hah hah....now u know i dont buy digits la
Tapir : .....
:
**this conversation is censored : Part II**
:
Piggy : Eh my eye stop twitching oledi....
Tapir : Cannot keep twitching one ma..
Piggy : No mah...if good twitch longer ma....then the good thing will be bigger ma
Tapir : ......walau...

What do people do in cubicle toilets

Ever wonder what do people do in the toilet next to you? Well Piggy just went to company toilet to save fire. While piggy is doing business, someone start talking ..... "no no 200", " ya ya.......um no no....300", " um ha ha..... ( trying to keep voice down)", " er no no i will ask XYZ do...." Then piggy heard ~~pong plang~~ guess there goes the hp. At least its not "plop" ...... "plop" means point of no return depending on whether it dropped in before or after u flush.....

Now a point to ponder, what do people do in cubicle toilets ?

1. Graffiti
Yeah....sometimes i wonder how on earth can they reach the door with their current siting position. Piggy have seen telephone numbers, self advertisement, declaration of love and poems writting at the back of the door. Have hands like gorrila and orang utan is it? Bear in mind that piggy saw it in jusco toilet...and the distance between the toilet bowl and the door...is well...........unreachable with piggy's hands lo....

2. Listening to sounds on the other side
Don't you unconsiously just pick up sounds on the other side....like zipper sound....newspaper sound, plastic sound. When u hear zipper sound, its taking off pants, if u hear newspaper and plastic sound.....its wrapping.....um um..... no need tell la hor, if u hear unknown sound accompany by smell, yeah well.......u know wat business that person is doing.....and you better get going before your clothes soak the smell up unless you are doing the same business.
Sometimes when its really quiet, you can even hear s*** hitting water sound....can do predictions. If one big loud plop....yeah that person having sembelit for some time lio...need to eat more fibre...If you heard like watery sound.....lau sai la that person.....

3. Observing the passerby and person next you through celah celah
This only applies to cubicles with partition that ends about 20 cm from ground level....piggy dont understand why they must make some celah there? for what? air flow? Piggy not sure she want air to flow from the next cubicle to hers. Some people just love to guess who is in the next cubible by looking at their shoes.... Ask bay bee Dino, she never fails to know if piggy is in the next cubicle.... now if you put 2 and 2 ( the pants stripping incident) ....is DINO having the hots for piggy?

4. Play with toilet paper
Piggy secretly thinks some of her co-workers do that. Its either that or they eat it up. There is no other reason to explain why a big roll of toilet paper can finish in 1 hour ( talking about toilet in the office). Maybe they are using it to replace a daisy.....u know like, he likes me ~~tear a piece, he likes me not ~~~tear a piece, he likes me ~~ tear a piece, he likes me not~~tear a piece

5. Talk on handphone
Why do they carry it into the toilet piggy really dont know. But you can pick up some interesting stories while doing business. Piggy think its just way tooo dangerous to carry it in.....it might fall into the hole of no return ( check opening story). One thing is ..... while you were listening, do no ever reply the questions.....they willl think you are a moron.

6. Day dream
Now you know why some people just disappear in there for hours.............

7. Problem sloving
That will be after doing business you find out there is no toilet paper and the water pipe dont have water....and there is no one the next cubic........ GOOD LUCK MAN..... ( if u practise No 5, try calling reinforcement with it)


They always say : The lenght of 1 minute depend on which side of the toilet u are on

Alzheimer

Venue : Across yahoo messenger
Time : Lunch la

Tenggiling : Got watch cartoon when you were young?
Small Tapir : Got, got....use to like thundercats
Piggy : I Like he-man and she-ra la, He - man rides a tiger ma
Small Tapir : Its cat la gundu.....
Tenggeling : Yea lo,
Piggy : no lar, its a tiger, i remember tiger, and she-ra rides a horse
S. Tapir : Thats unicorn la, badak
Tenggeling : Shuddup u 2. He- man rides a cat and she- ra ride a badak la.
Piggy & S.Tapir : ....
(*** grand mal scale epilepsy attack .....unable to type.........)
tenggeling : Horse horse.....
Piggy & S.Tapir : No lar its badak **rofl**
tenggeling : er no no, unicorn
Piggy & S. Tapir : badak badak........ **rofl**
Tenggeling : Thunder badak, thunder badak, thunder badak......HO................

moral of story : Alzheimer actually attacks at a much much younger age

And that concludes the Moral of story series. Been trying to immitate Dr.Liew's style. Piggy feels it doesn't really suit her. So back to original style ~narrative.
Hope u guys enjoy this brief change in style........
Other members ~~~ i am still waiting for u guys to blog............................

Kids are clever

venue : Piggy's house

Piggy's other housemate (catwoman)'s whole family landed in piggy's house. Members include cat sister, cat brother , cat mom and kitten ( almost 2 years old). Kitten is cat's mom is bread and butter. (baby sitting la). Panda just drop by for a visit :-

Piggy : ** holding kitten** call uncle....
Kitten : Unca....
Piggy : Kwai........
Panda : Hoi !! apa uncle....... go go.....say go go
Kitten : Unca...unca....

~~~Chat in living room. Otter come out from room to play with Kitten.

Piggy & Panda : **nyak nyak** gossip gossp**
Kitten : Aaa, oo ** shifting marbles from one box to another**
Otter : Aiya dont put in mouth.... ** supervise Kitten**
Piggy : Give some to 'go go' play can or not.... **pick up rolling marble**
Kitten : **nod**nod** aa.... unca unca
Otter : Say Mar - ble, mar - ble
Kitten : ...... ar...ar **shift marble**
Piggy & Panda : **Bek bok** bek bok**
Otter : Say bor chee, bor chee.........
Kitten : **nod** nod** , booo boo...... **shift** shift**
Otter : Bor chee, bor chee
Kitten : bor ...bor.... oooooo
Piggy : ** look over*** Guli la.....
Otter : Eh diam u....simply teach kids
Kitten : Gu...li., gu.....li, gu....li

Moral of story : Watch your mouth around kids

Powerful crab sauce

Date : 21/1
Place : Kuala Selangor
Time : 8.00pm

Panda been's bitching that piggy owe him a meal...so after getting jelly her bed, decided to eat seafood.

Jelly : Aiya, piggy so 'hou soon'....after helping me get bed, we go eat seafood...k
Panda : ya lor owe me a meal....owe me a meal
Piggy : Yeah yea.....go eat la go eat la, u drive
Panda: k.....go where ler.....want to go kuala selangor
jell & pig : Woooo so far ah...u drive
Panda : k

~~ got in car, driving~~~
Panda : Hmmm, maybe want to eat steamboat
Jell : ...
Piggy : har....so hot, seafood la, u bising bising 1 century lio wo...dont want eat ar
Panda : then go subang ....maybe the place u bring us last time....
Jell : ZzzzZZZzzzz
Piggy : Subang.... why ler? tot u want to go Kuala selangor wo.....
Panda : No mar, subang close ma, scare after no food when sampai
Piggy : So fast meh....
Panda : sampai late ma.....feel like eating steamboat too
Piggy : ok lar subang also can since jelly never been there...

~~after 45 mins and 3 tols~~~

Piggy : ahem ahem.........remember hor last time dont pass so many tol one wo.....
Panda : Oh....correct la
Jell : ZZZZzzzZZZZZZzzz
PIggy : U got go correct way boh? remember last time see a lot of aeroplane one oh...how come dont see now
Panda : Sure la dont see...going kuala selangor ma.........

***** moral of story: You can never understand guys

~~~After greuling NASCAR drive, arrive at the restaurant and seated at round table ~~

Panda: So hows food?
Jell & Piggy : **munch ** munch ** ok ok can eat....
Jell : Oh its near the sea... ** taking a crab pincher** hit with hammer**juice spray spray**
Panda : No sea la, kuala only kuala only.....what u say kuala in english......
** Piggy staring at Jelly***
Jell : dunno oh...maybe sea opening? ** hit hit crab** jucie spray spray spraaaaaay***
**piggy starring daggers at jelly ***
Panda : ya mer....how come english like tht one....... ** starring at piggy starring at jelly**
Jell : Ar i dunno ma ** hit hit crab some more** , eh why u guys starring at me?
Piggy : You revenge is it?
**Panda laugh non stop**
Jell : ** notice piggy shirt and hands all chicken pox ** oh har har...soli wo.... ...

*** moral of story :never sit near Jelly when she is eating crabs

New Year shopping

Ar....new year is coming soon.... so its time to spent money on new stuff. Lets take a look at the inventory count :-

1. Household items
~Piggy teman Jelly to buy matress just last week. Jelly has started using it, review is damn good. Think it will cure her osteoporosis....claims its better than drinking milk

~ Piggy also teman her house mate Otter to buy new pillow. She chooses one after doing a series of vigorous QC checks like sleeping on it ( as in leaning on the wall with the pillow), fluffing it, hitting it, twisting it...etc...etc). Nowadays buying pillow so susah

~ After seeing both of piggy's friend buying bedroom items, piggy did a quick check on piggy own items, found the extra bed sheet had started moulding =_="
how did mould got there? maybe hmm.......E.T

2. Deco Items
Went shopping with Otter in Petaling St to look at the deco items. Being an old fashioned chinese, piggy decided to buy a nice pineapple to hang in the house. Now pineapples have a long long history and evolution. The 1st time piggy buy her 1st pineapple back in 1997, its really good quality plastic, thick and wouldn't even fade after being in the sun for 30 days or so.... pineapples nowadays are lower quality and the plastic is cheaper than carrefour plastic bag....but still if u need it, u need it. But why are they selling so many sizes, 4", 8", 16" 20++", 30++ ", the biggest one is taller than piggy. Anyhow hazard a guess and bought an average in piggy's estimation. Now what is Otter doing while piggy's sweating over pineapples.
Otter declares she will write 2 'tui tui luen' for our lovely farm. So she goes around looking at the verses. We went shopping around 1st week of January...................... and well to-date, she is still practising her verses........piggy is wondering does she need to out source the verse writting as well? Or is she writting chinese verse or epic poem? like romance of the 3 kingdom kinda stuff...... no wonder take so long

3. Clothes
Nah, didn't get any. But baby dino bought some and Otter too. According to them, pointy shoes are the rage. Yeah well, piggy can never understand why u want to make your foot longer than it already is...must be a woman thing....sigh~~~
Actually piggy end up buying a skirt and pants....GENG AH, now that piggy realise, haven't buy a skirt in 5 years. The last skirt piggy got, think donated to tsunami victim lio since can only fit into a thigh. So end up the fatefull shopping day, piggy only bought pants and skirt. Actually wanted to buy a watch and a belt since jeans are too loose to wear lio.

Sad to say all the belt piggy try....... -_-"
why is it an inch shorter.....only skinny people need to belit their waist meh? Fat people cannot ah? Fat people cannot buy XXXXXXXL pants and then wear belt meh? Ugh....sad sad....sad
was thinking forgoing the belt totally when 'the' incident force a belt no matter wat.

The incident happen in baby dino's room. Piggy outnumbered 3 to 1 with Crazy Otter on Dino's side..... what did they do, they stripped piggy's jeans when piggy turn around to pack stuff.....ARRRRRR piggy didnt know they were lesbians, Worst piggy can never get married after they saw...........her butt..... the following day piggy went OUG and bought a billbong belt....dont care, if cannot get belt will use tali rafia to advoid the sadist dino and ham sap otter.

REGRET

I finally understand
Life is cruel
I was wrong
Or just plain stupid?

How could i not see
I must've been blind
How could i not hear
I must've been deaf
How could i not know
I must've been ignorant

Effort equals precious
Being nice is worthless
Like a tree carefully planted
Versus the unwelcome bushes

It is not too late
Change is still possible
Learning those life lessons
Avoiding being taken for granted.

by Nite

Try it guys

You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.


What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Risk It All

To Love Is To Risk Not Being Loved In Return
To Hope Is To Risk Pain
To Try Is To Risk Failure....
But Risk Must Be Taken
Because The Greatest Hazard Is Life
Is To Risk Nothing!

Why do we have the secretary that we have......

When we talk about secretary, the ones that come to mind are sulty, sexy, with micro mini skirts, killer looks and do lap sitting on the side kinda secretary. Another type are those who wears power suits, no nonsense specs ( black rim), hair in bun, right hand PDA, left hand holding a tablet ( NO, not the swallow kinda tablet, gundu...its the latest IT gadget)..... but like they say there are always exceptions. Our secretary has pouty lips like the fish that she rears, has a body like yusni jaffar, voice like doremon and walks like going to market. All she needs is a bakul with some veges inside and some spring onions hanging on the side. We always wonder why she's still around. Speculations include :-

a. She absolutely loves her work place. She got her own little garden, a fish pond, own private printer. The only thing she is missing is her own toilet. Maybe we can pool in to buy her a potty on her birthday

b. She is the absolute tyrant. She rules the whole 11 floor. She has more power than GOD unless you dont want your OT claim and you are never gonna book the meeting rooms.

c. She doesn't need to answer phone within 3 rings. Yes, we secretly thought she is slighty deaf. No matter the senior manager's phone is ringing for 5 mintues, she can stil do her work serenely. Maybe she learns meditation. The senior manager have to pick up her calls instead.....wonderful right~

d. She can play with bubble wrap (must be her hobby) at any time, any day, month end, year end, quarter closing.... The only time she doesn't play is Saturday and Sunday. Just when you were concentrating veli veli hard on the project on hand, or when u desparately trying to meet the ever elusive target......you will hear, *pop*pop*POP*pop*pop* ~~~ i use to love bubble wrap, seriously......now....now...... i can't even look at it without any murderous thoughts in my mind....why ? why?......

e. She is excempted from staying back even when the company is on the brink of bankruptcy she will still be excempted from staying back to help. Why is she not excempted from bonus, increment, benefits etc etc.....beyond me....

f. She can have PMS everyday. Yeap other woman other woman can only have it once a month. She has it as and when she likes it. Beware of those who cross her path on her PMS Day.....be warn....

ANOTHER more serious line of thinking is why our boss still bear with all these. We secretly think the wife choose this secretary....u know, having her guarding the doors......ha ha ha

Plain black luck or got cursed ?

The weekend started out dandy. Was hanging out until wee hours in the morning (5.00am)on the last day of the week before sleeping. However manage to get up around 9.00am and make it to breakfast with jelly. She belanja by the way. Bought myself a pot of plant....its called "moon tin seng" or loosely translated as night full of stars. Its has nice little little flowers all over it. Now piggy couldn't be happier with the progress of Saturday when it just sneaks up on you and everything just go downhill. Maybe some one say its minor incoveniences, after a series of good luck... but what good luck? piggy didn't hit any lottery wo, nor did piggy stumble upon RM50.00 on the road...hm....why why.... let me tell you and you tell me is it pure black luck, coincidence or conspiracy....
a. brake light went off YES, the third light went off. I just got the car and my sister sweared that she had everything checked. Still piggy uttered some prayers and poke at the brake light in hope its just loose wiring.**poke**
Bad news, still no flash.....maybe didn't pray hard enough. Change to kneeling position at the back seat, pray some more, in 3 languages, there goes **~~poke~~~ poke~~**
Ok stil no flash.... panicky feeling start to crawl from the bottom of piggy's heart. Usually piggy heard car repair quite expensive. What if they skin piggy? oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.....how ler how ler.....

b. Mouse died
After worrying of the brake light and how to repair it, piggy end up with a restless night. Sunday morning looked bleak indeed. Got up to turn on the PC to cheer piggy -self up. On button, heard the hard drive booting up, suddenly beep beep, 'unable to detect mouse', 'unable to detect mouse'...Piggy goes WTF?
--First thought was, did the rat bite the cable? Quick check....everything looks ok.
--Connection loose? nope....Piggy's pc is old pc, The connection is the one with lots of holes and needles and need to be screwed in.

Maybe can trying praying and poking again but come to think of it, it didnt work with the brake light. So on with plan B. Curse the Pc and poke the mouse . #()#$*% ~~poke~~**
Reboot PC, still not detected, Hm.............ok curse and hit it on floor a couple of times. @#()#$*%^ **slam~~** bam~~** wham~~** poke~poke~~**
still cannot detect. Obviously plan B failed.....how ah? but unlike brake light, mouse still can save.
Got piggy's housemate up and teman piggy to Low Yat for mouse shopping...more bad news to come. Most of the shop dont sell old mouses anymore.... WTF II...? But luckily met some friends who pointed out a shop that still sells old mouses.... yeah RITE.....~ at least something is going rite....yeah yeah....spirits are lifting...maybe can go get new earphones... the ones piggy have is oledi 1 deaf, the other PMS ( only got sound at certain positions ~~ soon will have to learn yoga to enable piggy to listen to the remaining speaker)

3. Brand new clock kaput.
Went home happily with new earphones and nite's birthday present ( at last got her something). Clean out a space for piggy's brand new Christmas present clock. That clock has given piggy some trouble and seriously thinking of just packing the whole thing up and throw it away....but ...but...but it was a gift. Ok lar, just hang it some where. After emptying out a space, piggy install new batteries but......hey how come its not moving? ok maybe 1st battery out of order. Try second one, still not moving. Try 3rd one, try 4th one, try 5th one...........ok thats all the battery supply that piggy has ( piggy is suprise she has that many batteries)...NOT so jinx kua? OK, borrow next door's battery......housemate willing to borrow her duracell alkaline AAA battery after piggy explain situation. She even puts in the battery herself. 2 pairs of eyes, glued to the clock hand while the piggy held her breath.....1....2.....3..... ARGH....still not working. Piggy housemate certified clock dead at 2031 hours.....nothing to do but to give it a proper burial.

All in all, 3 stuff going kaput in a weekend is quite a lot for piggy to swallow. There is a story about the earphones too but piggy too depressed to continue anymore........piggy will just sit on bed and count the hairs that falling off rapidly due to the stressed created. Maybe should go buy wig.

Blackout

Yesterday got to be the hottest day in the office. Apparently there was a total blackout throughout KL even in the southern region Johor. You would have thought it is great to have a blackout when u were in office working your butt off. Piggy manages to observe certain scenarios in the office during the blackout.

1.Your worst nightmare come true
spreadsheet, while trying to do some data entry and yohoo-ing for the latest gossip at the same time, not to mention replying several important emails when suddenly your air con goes off and you staring at a blank screen. It’s worse than the dog eating your home work, worse than going home past curfew time and found out your dad waiting at the door and worse than sitting in the cinema next to a guy who keep farting…….ok you get my drift…………all the lost work….MY GOD……..does heaven saves a copy?

2.Speculations on the blackout
Some say it’s the tsunami, you know, before a tsunami, water gets drag into the sea…therefore our dam don’t have enough water to run the turbine and generate enough electricity (dumb). Some say ‘who didn’t pay electric bill?’ (dumber). Some say must be terrorist hijacking the main TNB station (dumbest -à what for? to electrocute themselves? ) Other were just busy checking internet and sms-ing to see the extent of blackout (now that’s smart)

3.No water
Sad to say yes, even the water ran out. Until now piggy wouldn’t have know our water facilities depend on electricity availability. Piggy thought they are not supposed to go together except in water heaters. And our tap water doesn’t even have hot cold options. Are we supposed to lick our plates and cups? What is this? Survivor 6? Don’t even talk about toilet…… although some one did suggest doing it in the gardens, we have plenty of bushes.

4. Hot HOT HOT
A few hundred people in a crowded room with no air-cond? Its like putting a chicken in a slow cooker. Piggy had been eyeing Day’s singlet enviously. If she could fit in, it would be off Day’s back and onto poor piggy, Too bad piggy is twice Day’s size..sigh~~~
Worse is piggy got like about 3 phone calls and 10 assorted messages and sms asking am I hot? Some come all the way from Ipoh and Genting. What? No work ah ? Piggy had decided to disown all of them soon.

4.Broadway entertainment
With all the heats that’d been going on, guess some got their brains fried. Day and Gorgeous S starts doing broadway of Annie meets Sound of Music doing Anger Management. Cool rite? Ya well piggy and piggy friend are dancers….In the middle of it, Skinny L pops a Sprite and we all drink to it.

5.Relive you worst nightmare
YES NOTHING CAN BE WORSE. They lure you into a sense of security. Lights were up, printers working, shredder working, server room humming even the coffee machine working. You restart PC, redo your excel spreadsheet ( the one you forgot to save), login everything, check back email, pick up your conversation and JUST WHEN you finish updating the lost data, POOH….. second round blackout……..yes…..now it feels worse than you found your fly is unzip in front of a leng chai, worse than finding you got RM9.99 when u have to pay RM10.00, WORST THAN HAVING A PIMPLE ON YOUR WEDDING DAY……!!!
(makes you want to knock you head on the wall, or worse throw the PC out the window)
This nightmare is relive 3 times before piggy call it quits…..give up AH ( how many times you want me to type the same sentence wo…)

6.Why AMAR is still wearing his jacket….
Yeah that’s a sad thing…..why ar? Why ar? WHY!!!!!!!!!!
Its so damn HOT and piggy was hoping he is taking of his jacket and he would have sweated enough to soak through his shirt and piggy can catch a glimpse of his biceps and 6 pack. That is soooo sad…..is he cold blooded? One of these days………

7.The PC is the 1st functional thing
YES, the company got their priority straight. The 1st thing to recover is the PC. Never mind the endless promise of, ‘we wont treat workers like machine’, or ‘ we want workers to have quality life’ bla bla bla……proven it is all crap, everything is down, but you can still switch on your PC. Drive you nuts right….i wonder where they got electricity to power all the pcs when the printer wont even work?

8.Birthday planning
In the midst of the blackout chaos piggy and friends still manage to plan something for up and coming birthday boss. Now that’s what I call opportunist. When GOD give u lemons you make lemonade…Sad to say, they reject piggy’s idea of hiring a gigolo to hide inside a birthday cake………really party poopers

9.Early going back
Yeah….no comment on that, piggy went back early regardless got electricity or not.

10.Everything will be alright when its time to go home
Murphy Law 11. Everything resume order around when its time to go home ( around 5.15pm) …. just in time for piggy to go home. HQ was not so lucky, heard they ask people to stay back….sadist all of the management team. Why don’t they resume it earlier or later but have be right on time? Maybe TNB people also don’t want to stay back……want to catch 9.00pm Chinese movie ma…..

Try this

You Are a Snarky Blogger!

You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of. And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!

What kind of blogger are you?

Last day of the year

CAN U GUYS BELIEVE IT........its already the last day of the year. It seems like yesterday when i was just getting used to the writing 2004 and now i have start writing 2005. They say Time and tide wait for no man...............how true. Here i am now reflecting on things that i have manage achive :-

ACHIVED ~~ YES
1. Shift out of my old flat to a brand new terrace house. YES out of the clutches of house mate from hell and i manage to extract revenge by using her back scrub brush to clean the toilet bowl..........immense satisfaction.

2. Tech support turns out to be not so bad after all. Manage to fit in nicely despite the bumpy start off. Boss seems happy with performance......VB VB VB

3. Able to wash clothes and clean my room consistently every month. Except for.... maybe the coat, soak it for 2 months before i manage to clean it ( until the roaches also dont want to go near it) ........but hey, still meet service standard.

4. Got my own private room in office..........but have to share with 4 others...sigh~~~
( hey but i can play song loud loud, see movie, play game, chat, sleep, wrap presents, have own pantry, think strategies, have private celebrations....etc etc.........dun jealous......)

5. Know a lot of good friends esp the pig brothers...... cheers~~~~~

6. Went overseas 1st time in my life.....yes it was fun, it was great, it was terrifying but great.....want to go back again.....

7. Participated in so many amazing races that its amazing i am still alive.......( check out the blog for amazing races narratives)

8. Attended at least 1 concert............sigh~~~boys concert..........younger than F4. Boys but they are DAMN good. Jelly's favorite boys......there is an amazing race there too......

9. Attended 1 wedding semi sucessfully.....hey , preparation starts 2 weeks before wedding....spend like RM200 on it..........yeah well for future investment too. And when i reach there no one recognize me. Dunno whether because i have grown 10kg fatter or i look fabolous..... hope its the later

10. Survived Sept closing and year end closing..................i am typing now rite? dont ask how......its definately not 'yan sam' or chicken essense.

NOW ABOUT THE THINGS I DIDNT ACHIVE......really long list

1. No car yet..............why is it so hard to get car? only got a metal horse, or u can call it my two -wheel convertible....more flashy

2. No house yet.....cant even get 4 wheels you think i can get a house? Maybe i should just buy a doll house...and be done with it......

3. No Mr Right............sigh~~~ i think he is dead or gay

4. Havent found the cure to AIDS and cancer.......

5. Still 60kg......there goes my new year resolution...... but i can still go through the door and i havent break any chairs yet and the insurance company havent rated me up ....so overall its still ok

6. Manage to corrupt someone hahaha................from goody gal to....um.....haha like me...hey i always admit i am 99% devil, 1% angel....

7. Still dont understand woman...............they start calling me 'si lai' but ............... hey i still dont understand woman

8. Dont understand man...........i think i am gonna stop understanding them and just send them back to MARS

9. Still havent got my six figure salary, maybe should start investing in Toto, 3D and horse racing

10. Sigh~~ didnt spend enough time with my family and close friends, didnt even get to see my new born nephew.....my regret~~~

There are actually more....but i need to work as they announce today is still competiting.....really @&*$^*@$%^.................. hahaha

SOooooOOO TiReD (+_+)

10 signs that i am busted, tired wash out, blured disillusioned, sleepy and spending entirely too long in the office :-

1. Been eating too many chickens until fish taste like chicken and pork also taste like chicken
(nasi goreng ayam, nasi paprik ayam, nasi briyani ayam , nasi tomato ayam, "chap fan" chicken, KFC, McD chicken..........what else is not chicken...............)
2. Start counting work items instead of sheep when insomnia
( 1 CA, 2 CA, 3 CA, 1NJ, 2, NJ, 3NJ.........................................)

3. Start muttering words like 'trigger', 'suspend', 'penders' and other sexy underwriting terms when sleeping

4. Got of the wrong stop on the way home............
(Forgot the way home....................almost end up in Taman Desa)

5. Mistaken facial foam as tooth paste
( just gave my teeth a facial this morning, maybe darlie should have tooth paste scrub and toothpaste toner soon, the srub taste kinda good too...........)
6. Forgot which key open which lock
( for awhile i thought i was at the wrong house.....)

7. Accepting invitation to 2 gatherings going on the same time same day and totally forget about both gatherings
(yeah...............if only my shadow can go to either one )

8. The only square box i've watch is the damn monitor screen
( and the entertainment provided is more boring than 7 o' clock news..............)

9. See my roomate in the office more than at home
(yeah any talking have to be done in the office, preferably with appointment)

10. Can sleep at any time, place and position..............

yes the above have actually happen to piggy........................true story~~~

Anti-Cipation

Today the pig is goin to teach u kids a new word...

Anti-Cipation
derived from the word : Anticipation

Ah.... the question is WTH (Wat the Hell) is tat.. hehe.. Piggy will teach u guys ;)

anti-cipation
anti group of the cipat-ion group.... cipat = cepat ....
group motto is : janga cipat supaya silamat (selamat) ...

Glossary
anticipation : to anticipate for an event
anticipate : to wait eagerly
cepat : means fast
selamat : means safe

I hate Year-end closing

ARGHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I HATE YEAR END CLOSING.....

problems arising out of no where...
users complaining left and right...
expecting system to be alrite....

bosses getting on our arsseesss....
SM-ing our assets....
to solve the leaking faucets....

have to work OT...
for users to bully....
tired and sien like cookie....

not staff...
dont have bonus stuff....
means no money buff....

arghhh,... so I hate year end closing.... *end*

A "BLAIN" to blog with

How I Wish for a BLAIN

Blain o Blain,
Wher thoust hav gone,
Without thou,
Im a mindless ghoul,
Blainless not heartless,
Am only a soul,

Thoughts dont come,
Words dont go,
Work behold,
Stuck forever holed,

Where o where has thy Blain go...

Problems in the plain,
Migraining in the Blain,
Gaining the pain,
For the Blain to grain,

Thy Blain is the Main,
Same goes to the Frame,
Main + Frame is Main Frame,
Henced the Blain is the Main Flame,

Where o where has thy Blain go...

Without the Blain,
Theres no Flame,
No Flame No Game,
No Game No Mane,

I want thy Blain,
Blain sweet as Fame,
Packaged with Pain and Migraine,
Can go Insane,

Where o where has thy Blain go...
Where o where has thou Blain go...
Where o where has all the Blains gone...

Writer's Block

need to get a muse
to light the fuse
lately so confuse
bloggin i refuse

4 people only 1 bloggin
only me contributing
rest are sleeping
or somewhere 'pak to' - ing

ideas all stuck somewhere
brainstroming end up nowhere
PC also konk hardware
want to stuff myself in tupperwear

wish ideas come in cans
or can find easily like sand
its like there is a dam
where are the ideas, oh man

nite will be barkin soon
if i dont blog by noon
maybe she will hit me with a spoon
or worse come after me with a broom

damn this writer's block
brain worse than a dog
GOD help me blog
or just turn me into a log

PSA IDOL V2

i am back with more story
of the PSA Idol Glory
some are sad but mostly happy
some are true but mostly silly

now leng chai amar is always top
same 8.05 erl we always hop
but ai...~ he never notice me, sob ~
maybe next time i can give him a nod

beckam, he 'ciao' home oledi
cannot see his hair style, so soli
Day, u should have mali
he shave his head oh, like guli

old ones go, new one come here
martin? aiya he is still there
still a bit round and fair
he and wilda still spliting hairs?

This week a new one came
From behind look yau ying
he got long shinny mane
but see in front, like hui kun ying ( aiseh)

there is also one i overlook
cause' he is quiet like a book
but he memang got good looks
maybe can catch him with my hooks (yes)

PSA girls still stayin' beautiful
hot and sexy, overall wonderful
can spend whole day starring at them like a fool
u will fall for them if u are not careful

Mmm, why at pamb there is no happening
sometimes being there is so boring
is it policy leng chai no hiring?
if not all starring no working?

Jelly House madness

####################################
How many women it takes to co0k a dish?
###################################

Long holiday coming soon
jelly organize cooking at noon
she has everything from knife to spoon
says, its easy even for baboons


preparation started since last nite
pork, chicken, but no fish rite?
kangkungs, long beans, wat a sight
enough for everyone no need fight (ah)


plan plan plan wats missing?
aiya dont care, last minute shopping
women shopping, time go flying
soon noon goes, eve coming


reach jelly's flat, apron piggy hog
open fridge, meat hard like log
throw out can kill couple of dogs
jelly almost crazy, wanna mogok


ok ok, calm down jelly
soak in water la silly
its late cannot dilly dally
look at the sotong a bit sickly


4 people sound like 20
everyone in a crazed frenzy
chop,clean, cook like crazy
cause dinner planned at 7.30


ah! no need fear
at last help is here
one like stick, one like bear
who cares, just help, wash, pluck and tear


at last,dinner serve at eight
piggy starved until dead
wat to do, dumpling still have to wait
aiyaya, but all others are ready to eat


after eternity, can put food on platter
it has never taster better
fruits of my labor always is sweeter
so wat? i just get fatter (lo)


leftover can feed a population
wat to do, over estimation
but jelly got a good solution
a game of snap, eating is punishment


it was so much fun playing
piggy winning but no cheating
guys keep loosing, so keep eating
long beans pile up, jelly counting


eat 1 long bean, no big deal
unlike others who end up with a meal (haha)
time to 'chow', get behind the wheel
leave jelly home with a happy feel


################################
Answer
5. One to clean, one to chop, one to cook
and the other 2 to give tips on how they
cook it
###############################

My First Blog

Yes, yes, I have finally typed my very first blog. That is after Piggy kept persuading me to do so. Ok, that’s all for now. Not in the mood to blog. To be continue….

AMAZING RACE IN MALAYSIA

Ever wonder why there is no amazing race in Malaysia? I always joked to my friend that i wanted to join the Amazing Race on TV...........but i have been reminded that amazing race happens all the time in Malaysia. That is why we dont need TV documentaries to show us what amazing race looks like. A good example is the Genting Amazing Race that i encounter, come to think about it, everytime i go vacation also encounter amazing race........maybe i shouldn't pray so hard for Amazing Race Last time. Regretted ah..........let share what kind of amazing race we can see in Malaysia.

TOTO, Magnum, 3D
This is seasonal amazing race. Usually Mondays, Wednesday or watever day there is betting. Operation hours are actually 10am - 7.00pm. All throughout the day, usually is 'swat fly' but when come 6.30pm...........hoho suddenly u see amazing race. People black, white, tall, short, rich, poor will suddenly come and place bets. You can see cars stopping in the middle of the road, and the the guy just hop off to buy TOTO. Creativity is really needed.Bets closes at 7pm and here are a million people queeing. You might stand a chance to get even more than 1 million. U must have iron will and calm personality. If not u might get the urge to "lau sai' if u see the time is 6.59pm and there are 10 people in front of u. More shok that the TV Amazing Race.
Difficulty Level = Medium
Players = Over 18, likes to dream to be billionaire but earning cleaner salary, ah peks and housewifes
Reward = can be from RM2 to billions depending on luck and what kind of underwear u are wearing when u bet
ERL Mad Rush
I always wonder why those that work in cyber take big back packs like going back packing. After riding it for a few times i know why. Most of us rush for the 6.05pm ERL. Feeder bus rrives at 5.40pm and reaches station at 6.00pm. Before u reach the boarding place, u have to :-
1. get down from bus
2. run to erl counter and buy ticket
3. get through the gate
4. run down the steps
5. press the erl door button
To accomplish this, u need to do the below:-
a. Never stand at the back of the bus, always insists to stand next to the driver. U can also hang at the steps. This is to decrease the time that u need to get down and run to the station counter. This is important as there are no windows you can jump out from. Only exit is through the door.

b. OK NOW RUN FAST FAST to the ticket counter. U didnt put on your Air Jordan Nike shoes is it? I didnt tell u in Step a. ? ok ok, put on nike shoes and head band on head ( to advoid hair obstructing view)..It would be advantagous if u are ex-100m sprinter, holder of M'sian record/Commonwealth Record/ Olympic Record.

c. After making it to the counter, u might be out of breath, but tell ticketer u need ticket to KL Sentral ASAP. Now i dunno why, but ticketer always work in slow motion, machine is slow, printing receipt is slow. Like the maybe the gravity behind counter is more. Its a physic thing i cannot explain.

d. Got your ticket? OK now move to gate. Gate is not the rolling type, its the 'two wing type that flaps open and close. Now, this door must be 100 years old, U cannot put your card immediately after the next person. It will get angry and delay your time even more. U have to wait for the sign. When it says ' welcome', then insert ur card gently. It will flap open.Caution to skinny people, it cannot scan them when they pass through. so it will remain open even after the person has gone through, boarded the train and reach KL Sentral. In situations like this, perform 'Wong Fei Hung' invinsible kick. Not kick the machine. SIOW AH!! Kick the space between it. It will read and close accordingly. Dunno it work for skinny people or not but works for piggy........piggy got big leg? hm.......ok to be safe , if u are skinny do NOT stand in front
of skinny people.

e. If u are sucessful then u will see stair 1/2 the lenght of Batu Caves. Start running down because the train is leaving in 30 seconds. If u have stuntman experiance, climb trees in your childhood, have climb kinabalu and Tahan, u can start climbing down on the rails, If u have work for Jacky Chan, u can straight jump down

f. So if u pass the steps, u should be in the train by now, looking at people still running down the stairs. If u didnt make it, u can start warming down. Take deep deep breath 3 times, and wait for the next train.
Difficulty Level = High
Players = Programmers that go to gym often
Reward = Can reach home in time for 7pm Chinese show
DISCOUNT RUSH
Nowadays big places like Carrefour, Jaya Jusco always have 1 hour mad discount. Jusco still ok. Place is small but Carrefour....................... now tht is amazing race. When u pass by the durians, its RM10 per packet. U were thinking ' damn expensive' and u continue shopping. After 10 aisle away u heard annoucement, 'DURIAN DURIAN RM1 per packet' GOD.......!!! Now u have to rush back to aisle 1 with your trolley full of veges, dead fish, sanitary pads, sardin can food, maggi mee, pringles...etc etc. It s a lot heavier but still u made for the mad rush....GO GO GO...........zoom ur cart goes...sardin can fall off......aiya, to pick up or not.......? ok ignore, zoom faster....aisle 3.....sanitary pad fall off...........eeeya...durian more important........zoom faster, reach durian.......and find there are 30 carts around it. U can only smell the taste but cannot get it.......too bad, next time remember to bring your roller blades along.
Difficulty = Easy
Players = Shoppers who like super discounts
Reward = You have to pay for it even if you got it.....HEY its super discount not FREE ?!
RAIN RUSH
Do you wonder why everyone always rush home when it rains.............Is it a Malaysian thing to rush home when rain? Do the cars melt in rain? Piggy never knew until this day why when it rains it jams........Road gonna melt? Human's gonna melt? Have clasifiy this under X-Files until further investigation
Difficulty = Medium
Player = Kiasu people
Reward = You get wet look for free

PSA IDOL

let me tell u a story
of the PSA idol glory
u will fall in love with them madly
i am telling you seriously

first is 'leng chai' amar
who drives the gal ohh and ahh
too bad he sit soo far
but in my heart he is the star
Next is beckam look alike
who styles his hair in spikes
must have 'gel' with all his might
the hair can stand from morn to nite

there is also selina ling
who's body send guys salivating
sweet face always smilling
but she got boyfriend lio, no kau-ing

but hey, still got sophia ma
her boobs will drive guys ga~ga
deep clevage, is it wonder bra?
one look will give u coma

Martin boy, wilda hate
acting 'chuen' like bill gates
but its a fine line between love and hate
later they might end up as mates (ha ha ha)

'gwai lo' still got some
indians even more
'leng chai' besides amar no more
Thats why at PSA veli bored.......

Genting Amazing Race

i wonder how
i wonder why
all my trips are like amazing race
and all that i can hope is just another normal trip(sing according to lemon tree)
yeap, yesterday piggy, jelly fish and dino went to watch the VIENNA CHOIR BOYS...now who is jelly fish? its gonna be our new member in this blog.............maybe she got a lot of things she want to complaint too. Any how all contributors are welcomed to complain about life here.
ok focus....we will talk about jelly fish when she joins us.

where was I? oh yes....over the weekend, jelly fish invited me and dino to go genting for a vienna boys choir concert. Everything was well planned, tickets bought, accomodation booked, piggy even reschedule dr appointment so piggy can make it to the 11.00am bus. Chronology of events is as follows ( from the eyes of piggy)
Saturday (30/10/2004)
6.30am-> woke up ( ok thats a lie.............so.. rolling over the bed, but neigbour's kid are going out, so woke me up a bit) 7.00am-> officially woke up, brush teeth, bath, cook hotdogs for jelly fish. EH how many hotdogs is enough? Dino is on diet, and jelly fish is thin like ....um......jelly ....fish? maybe 2 per person? yeah make it 2 .
7.45am -> all packed, woke up house mate to look after the cooling hotdogs.........zoom out of the house for dr appointment.
10.55am -> oh ho....manage to reach KL Sentral in time, despite running 1/2 way around KL, reach the meeting plc BUT, no one is around? ALAMAK where is jelly? she is the queen of puntuallity, dino is plowing the way here, the bus is here.......but where is JELLY?
11.00am-> still no sign of jelly, but dino is here all gear up to go. Look at her bag........she bought the whole house, tons of food.......yum yum.. 11.01am-> ok start beggin' driver to wait for jelly, floating the way here via LRT..........
11.05am-> WOW, how come jelly still not here? from where she took the LRT? Kelana Jaya? piggy a bit agigated.
11.10am-> YO, saw jelly running down the bus lane at last........run jelly, run......and SHE MADE IT :) wat a relief, we almost change to plan B. Plan B is Dino lying on the road to bar the bus from moving until jelly come....touching leh, we go to all sort of length to help friends. GENTING HERE WE COME!!
12.30pm-> WE are here, after the scary skyway ride, piggy tail almost fall off, it is sooo scary!!
Suprisingly, there are not much pprl to piggy's delight, no pprl means no queeing for toilet, food, entertainment, check in...........yeah.....
2.00pm-> checked in First world....WAT only 2 beds? who is sleepin on the floor? dino had the brilliant idea of joinin the 2 bed to make super king size bed...and we stuff jelly in the middle. NOW we are not cruel or anything, but with me and dino's superweight we would have spilt the bed if we sleep in the middle. KA KA KA....anyway, we dont have nice view either, our room window is facing other room's window....oh yuck.
3.00pm-> rolling on the bed time, there is nothing more enjoyable then to messed up the bed, while eating hotdogs with bread. THERE are tons of food!!! we can feed an army! so eat, roll on bed, watch TV, eat some more, roll on bed, watch TV....of course dino also 'kap chai' in CLEO magazine after unsucessfully finding better things to 'kap' on the windows opposite us.
4.00pm->Time to go clubbin at 1st world....main reason is we are hungry. time to look for food. got a call from sis too, his bf works in genting......do u know piggy has never seen the bf before, and they have been going out for 2 years.....? hm...why ar...?
8.00pm->after filling our bellies, we went to buy tickets for shark tale, it cost RM11.00 per ticket. not bad wo......considering its mid nite show.....
9.00pm-> going to casino to kill time. Piggy sis says bf is jaga-ing the roullete table, heh heh heh...time to check out future bro-in-law.....1st table nope, 2nd table nope, 3rd table nope............................n table, nope, nope nope nope... MY GOD there got to be 100s of roullete table, WHY do genting have soo many roullete table? after seaching 2-3 hours, piggy give up. Resolve to see the guy on my sis wedding day.
11.00pm-> shark tale...........that's a good movie by the way....go watch

Sunday (31/10/2004)
11.00am -> woke up................HEY u tot piggy woke up at 9.00am and go venturing into the theme park? piggy wish but, dino say she no voice shout and jelly scared, she only want to ride the teacup, she even refuses to ride the flying elephant that piggy likes............ai~~ so its salmon breakfast and checking out.
12.00pm ->dump luggage at hotel and send jelly to meet jelly friend, then its off to video arcade for piggy and dino to play photo hunt....its fun but after 10 rounds, eyes juling oledi and start comparing everything on the spot....is the guys right eye bigger than the left one? etc etc
2.30pm-> MCD lunch. ai~~~ wanted to eat 'ah yat abalone' but wat to do leh, didnt win anyting at the casino so eat fillet~o~fish lo, same from the sea wat!
2.45pm-> OH MY GOD saw a leng chai behind us, start drolling on the french fries.....HEY But there is a woman beside him........dont look old enough to be the mum so must be the gf......huff and puff, why ler all the leng chai oledi got pak to one!!!!
3.10pm-> concert..........superb by the way, except for lousy micophones.......it was fun
5.00pm-> What still not finish singing? aiya, bus is on 6.30pm....after quick discussion decide to beg help from jelly friend who came with the wife and kid to listen to the concert.... a stroke of good luck?
5.05pm-> friend agree to fetch us to the skyway to catch to bus, so ok...we sit until the end ..........
5.30pm-> concert finish, meet up with friend. jelly friend say car park at genting car park.......OH OH...our luggage is still at First world.. ask jelly friend to drive his car and meet us at first world lobby
5.45pm-> check luggage out, AH, still got time to go toilet too. Mad rush to the entrance, SAW Jelly friend waiting............holding the baby pram? OH NO..............where is the car? we cant be goin to the skyway in a pram? miscommunication? OH NO, jelly friend intend to bring us back to his car at the genting carpark.......piggy feel like *#%$%()*! if piggy can still talk after the mad rush throught tons of people and escalater run back up to genting hotel....
6.00pm-> jelly friend ask to wait while he bring the car out............
6.05pm-> start sneezing, dino start shivering, jelly feelin 'pai seh'
6.10pm-> talk about the weather and possibility of making it
6.15pm-> wow where is the damn car? patience wo...ok ok
6.20pm-> ok........did his car fall down the ravine?
6.22pm-> new theory, his car is park in CHINA?
6.23pm-> Dont tell me he dont know where he parked his car?
6.30pm-> yeap confirm.................he forgot his car....oh great............now we wont make it even if we parachute down..........but try not to say too much bc jelly is feelin a bit pai seh and no point start cursing and blamin cause it wont make jelly friend find his car.
7.30pm-> yeap he found his car, now the mother is tired and the baby is hungry........have to fetch them too. did i mention there is a baby seat inside the car too? and DID I mention his car got break and engine problem? it just goes off at difficult slopes........and to top it off, it started raining heavily....... WONDER FUL
8.00pm-> Manage to manuvere to Gohtong Jaya, after stopping 1/2 way to feed the baby, the poor thing. Then we realise, jelly friend dont know the way to skyway......WA HAHAHA............this news doesnt even suprise piggy anymore, not even a raised eyebrow.....nothing will fazed piggy, nothing will suprise piggy anymore.
8.15pm-> manage to find a friend that knows the way, and arrive safely at the station. Nothing could go wrong rite? WRONG!!! all the stations are closed and DINO is throwing up bc of the roller coaster ride. The only remaining counter that is open--tickets are all sold out. PIGGY feel like laughin like a maniac.
9.00pm-> OK, emergency meeting........what are our options? stay overnite? EL tomolo? call in late? last skyway trip 11.00pm........wa hahaha. so we have to go back to Genting.
what an irony, to went to all the trouble and end up at the starting point.....nerves are breaking.
10.00pm-> cut the story short, manage to hop into the 10pm bus back.............NOW that is good news. the best so far in this trip that is going down hill every minute........
11.00pm-> oH yeah made it safely to titiwangsa station safe and sound...............and its work again on monday and piggy wows she has enough of amazing races.